Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Two stories, two different endings:

I just finished reading the book, Between a Rock and a Hard Place, (Atria Books, 2004) by Aron Ralston.

This is the story of the young man who was caught by the hand by a slipping boulder while canyoneering in South Utah in 2003. He was held tight by his right hand for 6 days while he ran out of water, reviewed his life, hallucinated wildly and finally found the inner strength to cut off his hand with a dull pocket tool and then hike and rappel down a 65 foot cliff to his rescuers.

I read the last several chapters about the final phases of his ordeal aloud to Linda and Mark around the campfire near Loon Lake on the edge of Desolation Wilderness, just west of Lake Tahoe. I am so moved by his courage and self control, yet moved also by his crying out in prayer to God or anyone else who would hear him and offer rescue or solace. While it is clear that his physical health and preparation helped keep him alive; it becomes very clear in the book that his mental stamina and personal courage were key tools in survival.

More personally,

I took a call from my friend Logan in Las Vegas last night. We met him in Utah years ago when Mark was young at a Nissan 4x4 event (goneMoab). He is an independent man who has worked hard in the IT and telecom industry and converted that hard work into free time devoted to exploring the West, Western history and leading wilderness 4x4 groups on rides and tours. He explored and designed the trip L2H which we were involved in last year; driving from Badwater, Death Valley to the top of Mount Bancroft. (or 282 below sea level to 12,470 above)

Logan was unable to join us and the Southern California Xterra club on the trip since he was sick at the time. He has been sick ever since and called last night to tell us that the doctors say he is dying. Logan is gay, he is one of the dearest men I know and he has spent months and months fighting every bug and lesion and skin cancer known to affect people with suppressed imune systems. He says he is not HIV positive. I suspect he is. He called me about six months ago absolutely filled with joy that he had a new boy friend that cared about him and enjoyed his company even though he was sick. I was very happy for him.

Last night I cried, I cried for him, I cried for the suffering in this world, I cried for the end of pain. Logan said he has brain lesions now and the drugs will either work to halt them, or he will die. He called because he needed someone to tell him he is loved and cared about even while there seems to be little we can do to ease his suffering. He has long ago been estranged from his family, his only contacts are several friends who stay in touch from time to time.

And I wonder about the two stories.

Two men, two lives, both interested in life and love and happiness and wilderness and freedom. Two different endings.