It has been a good long while since I posted anything to my blog.
The reason for the delay is simple and confusing. The blog started
out focused on Mark and Linda and I but it has evolved into a focus
on the changes that are taking place with Mom.
I went over to Cirby Creek several weeks ago for a weekend of
visiting and working on my old Pathfinder with Dad. I knew that I
would see changes in Mom but ultimately I found it hard to see and
absorb the changes I did see. I intended to write out my feelings and
observations after that weekend, but writing things down still is too
hard most of the time since it seems to make 'things' too real
sometimes.
Last week Mom and Dad came over to Lake Co to close escrow on the lot
they purchased in Clearlake Oaks. The lot is on a nice cul-de-sac and
has rather new existing modular homes on each side. The small
property is already fenced and it has two walnut trees (used to be an
orchard) and it has a row of ornamental cedar trees that one neighbor
planted well across the lot line. So Dad just bought part of the
neighbors landscaping.
So I met them at the civil engineers place, a new neighbor, and then
we visited the property before lunch. Mom was generally confused
about what was going on although she did know that they are buying
this lot and intending to place a house there. Over the course of the
next three hours she lost.... her umbrella, her tote bag and her
purse and wallet with all her ID and at least one credit card. Before
most of that happened she and I had a talk. I drove her to the
restaurant while Dad followed and in the course of conversation she
said. "Your father has told people that I have Alzheimer's disease."
I responded that "yes" the doctor had confirmed that was the case....
So she says, "well what kind of witch doctor did you and your father
find who would say a thing like that". Well, chatty, chatty, that
started a conversation that lasted for ten miles. I spoke to her of
the changes in her life and how she was no longer involved with the
check book, the insurance, the bills, lost her right to drive....
covered a lot of ground. For about 4 minutes in the middle of the
conversation she conceded that "things were different" in her head,
but Dad did all those things now and she did not need to worry about
such stuff. There was also a fantastic story about the "evil women"
at the DMV who would not help her get her license renewed. I used
that comment to point out that the way she sees incidents and events
was no longer the way others saw what happened and she needed to
trust Dad to care for her needs and not ragg on him all the time.
Like I said, she was connected to the conversation for about 4
minutes, but it left her agitated for the rest of the week. After a
nice lunch where I got her to smile and laugh even though she could
not follow the story of office politics, she and Dad went over to the
title office to close escrow and I went home. At the title office she
needed to sign a notarized document (possible the last she will ever
need) and she could not find her ID in her tote bag. Gone, full
search of cars and trucks and offices and restaurant and it is long
gone. Might have been gone for weeks before now, we don't know. We
did find her umbrella, but by the next day, she had lost the tote bag
of the day before. Never been seen since.
Dad and I have spoken almost every day, sometimes several times a
day. She has continued agitated all week and has continued to loose
things around the house that are minor but annoying. What does it all
mean. Part of me says I have no idea, part of me says I know exactly
what is going on.... gonna get ugly.
Dad and I have spoken of the eventual need for "day care" at a senior
center or some other resource. He says, not yet, but I want to keep
him as healthy as possible also. So there you go.
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