Fwd: Merry Christmas ? 2006

Subject: Merry Christmas ? 2006

So the joy of the season continues, ho ho ho.

Sunday Dad and I had a wonderful afternoon working on several projects at his house. Mom was there, but it is different now. We worked on re-attacking the unopened boxes from his move back in July. There were still boxes piled in the back office and still boxes of Mom's clothes that had never been opened. We also moved into the laundry room a new floor to ceiling linen cabinet that Dad had made in the garage. The cabinet is finished with a nice stain and clear coat and has real nifty hidden hinges on the front doors.

As Dad worked on opening boxes Mom was unable to stay away from poking and lifting each item found and she continuously moved items from box to box removing any chance at order, so Mom and I went for a walk. She is much quieter now then she used to be, walking quietly, slower pace, yet still a good walk. She gets cold easily and dresses in unusual layers of sweaters and woolens with just one object, staying warm. She talked some on the walk, about nothing and then she wandered on ahead of me with no sense that we were both there.

Dad had made good progress while we were gone. Later we installed the mirror on Mom's dresser and continued to set up the spare bedroom for Dad to sleep in down the hall. While doing all this I found some suspicious tissue tossed in the corner of Mom's bedroom and I did not mention it to Dad. Later, I made a glorious "tender bit casserole" with fresh garlic and fresh mushrooms, we had Christmas Eve dinner, just the three (or was it four?) of us. For a few minutes denial was the better part of Valor.

All day Mom was popping in and out of the two bathrooms and spending time talking to herself. Early in the day Dad pointed out that she was actually talking to her "friend", "twin", "sister" who would only talk with her in the bathrooms, (in front of the mirror). So i asked Mom who she was talking with and at first she said her "friend" was shy and would not come out or talk to me. By the end of the day I would lean against the bathroom door jamb and Mom and I would have three way conversations with Mom answering for and gesturing to the girl in the mirror. Turns out her name is the same, Marjorie Louis, and it turns out that "they" both know many of the same people. In the middle of all this I asked Mom what my name was... she struggled for a bit and said I was "Craig, what, don't you know your own name..." go figure. So by dinner time she wanted me to set four table settings and make sure there was food for "her sister". So then it gets interesting, she won't sit down and eat, keeps stepping out to check on her friend, asking her to stay at the table makes her mildly upset and when we cleared the food away she was rather disgusted that we were not sensitive to her and would not feed her friend.

Today is Christmas Day, Linda and Mark and I had a gentle day together. Linda is feeling poor enough that we did not drive to Sacramento to her aunts place for a Dunbar Christmas. It would have been nice to go and see everyone, but tiring too. So here we are. Dad called about 10AM and shared that he had continued today, cleaning Mom's room and had begun to find soiled tissues, toilet paper and soiled underwear stashed all through the drawers of Mom's dresser and the linen closet in the bathroom. Well so much for denying the reality of what I found yesterday. He has cleaned her bedroom and both bathrooms to create a new clean house and see how bad the problem is. Fact is, he has been in denial that this is happening. He and I spoke of it over a month ago when Mom and Linda worked together to get her to take a shower. But here we are.

I went through a lot of emotions today. Dad and I talked several times and he is struggling with the reality that he MUST get some help and the steps have started that will end with Mom in a care center and him home alone. I struggled with anger more then anything today. Linda helped me talk through the reality that I am not MAD at anyone or anything, just angry at the situation with non-specific fears tossed in regarding the future.

I have been telling several friends that 2007 was going to be an interesting year.

Where did the MIND go?

And when it left, why did it not leave a forwarding address? And did
it physically leave or is the mind still there with no street map or
phone book or index to help find the pieces that are actually there.

So off to Google I go.

Memory and Executive Function in Aging and AD

Multiple Factors that Cause Decline and Reserve Factors that Compensate

Randy L. Buckner, 

Howard Hughes Medical Institute, Washington University in St. Louis,
Department of Psychology, One Brookings Drive, Campus Box 1125, St.
Louis, MO 63130, USA

Available online 29 September 2004.

Abstract

Memory decline in aging results from multiple factors that influence
both executive function and the medial temporal lobe memory system.
In advanced aging, frontal-striatal systems are preferentially
vulnerable to white matter change, atrophy, and certain forms of
neurotransmitter depletion. Frontal-striatal change may underlie mild
memory difficulties in aging that are most apparent on tasks
demanding high levels of attention and controlled processing. Through
separate mechanisms, Alzheimer's disease preferentially affects the
medial temporal lobe and cortical networks, including posterior
cingulate and retrosplenial cortex early in its progression, often
before clinical symptoms are recognized. Disruption of the medial
temporal lobe memory system leads directly to memory impairment.
Recent findings further suggest that age-associated change is not
received passively. Reliance on reserve is emerging as an important
factor that determines who ages gracefully and who declines rapidly.
Functional imaging studies, in particular, suggest increased
recruitment of brain areas in older adults that may reflect a form of
compensation.

An Extraordinary Weekend

What a weekend. And what a season of the year.

Tonight was the final Christmas concert of the year and final concert
ever for the St. Helena Hospital Men's Chorus. Wendy Skeels, our
beloved director, (and cousin to Mom) along with her husband Norman,
have, after over 25 years of leading and singing determined that now
was the time to make some life changes, possibly move out of state in
a life transition and the choir has ended.

And what a ride it has been. I personally have been a member a mere
twelve (?) years with the group and oh the memories that flood into
my heart. We have sung all across north and central California. One
tour took us up to Yreka in the far north and the small Adventist
church there overwhelmed us with their love. It seems the churches in
the hinterlands do not get to hear the traveling groups like the
larger churches, that is sad. We had recording sessions for burning
CD's. Studio time is precious and we all had to behave for hours at a
time with out the usual tom-foolery that often bonded us together. We
sang at camp-meetings and funerals, high times and low, and each time
was wonderful. Singing in the Grass Valley church while huge snow
flakes drifted down, wonderful memories.

This weekend was our annual Christmas concert series in the
Yountville, SDA Church. The church has welcomed us in each year for a
weekend concert series and the church has outdone themselves with
decorations and food for the choir. This year the Christmas story was
told thru the eyes of Joseph. Mary was never seen in the concert.
"Pastor Pete" from a Christian church in Napa was Joseph and his
portrayal touched me and gave me new insights into the burden that
Joseph carried in supporting his virgin wife and providing a loving
home to the Son of God. To be a part of this concert series has been
a blessing for me that I get to keep.

Mom and Dad came down from Lake County for the Sabbath afternoon
program. Linda helped Mom with her hair before the concert she looked
just great. Mom has had a tough series of months, particularly
lately as the Alzheimer disease continues to ravage her brain. And
yet, she was in fine form on Sabbath, remembering people, remembering
names, remembering faces, hugging and tears with old friends who had
also come to the concert. It was wonderful to see her for just a few
minutes and pretend that all is well. As we sat around our dinner
table later and recalled the day, she still had some of the faces and
names in her mind and yet, she did not know just where she was or
where home is.

Jerry and Sally Cople came up, Janet and Lester Margart came down
from Eureka, there were more old friends visiting and hugging and
sharing after the concert then I will ever know, and it is good to
see, life is too short to ignore friends. To have friends and family
who we can be "real" with, that is the greatest blessing we can
expect on this earth.

Life is wonderful. Linda and Mark and I continue to take our lives
one day at a time and we treasure every day.

Be Blessed. Merry Christmas,

Craig Philpott