Musings on a visit

Jerry, 

You are such a blessing. Your visiting means a lot to me and I know it does to Dad also. I am flying to Nashville next week to see my brothers and then drive back across the country with Dad. Should be an interesting week. Should be a good week. Dad and I have talked of taking a road trip together and this should do it. 

My son Mark and I visited Mom today. It was the first time he had seen her in probably three months and she did not recognize him or acknowledge him at all. She only recognized me in the briefly teary generic way that she has. She was absolutely flat with no remarks, no connection. She was not able connect with me, so after I unlocked her chair, she just drove off. Came back once, still no connection so off she went with staff to supper. 

Strangely disappointing, as if some other outcome was expected. 

I spoke with my young (thirty something) second cousin on my father's side yesterday. She was speaking of her grandmother and telling me how she visits grandma every day and every day engages her even though "she is usually gone". She went on to say "I will not give up, I have complete hope and faith.....". I asked her, faith that what? A miracle will happen? We know how these things end, there is no mystery here, we know the end of the story. And she said, "no, I will not give up." 

And I am happy for her. 

Craig

 

Sally and I stopped in to see Marjorie yesterday.  She's pretty much exactly as you have described but did start with a bit of a surprising event.  She saw me, called me by name (Gerald) held my hands and just sobbed and sobbed.  Later to a slightly lessor extent she did the same with Sally (she didn't call her name) but when I asked her if she knew her, Marjorie replied "of course I do".

 

But it doesn't take long for her to begin her sad incomprehensible ramblings.  We hadn't been there long when she just turned around and was wheeling way.  I went and "got her" and brought her back to the two chairs Sally and I were sitting in and she seemed pleased to see us again.

 

Several of the nurses/aides etc. came over and said what a joy Marjorie was and she gave them a hug or a squeeze.  I talked to one of the nurses and she commented that your Mom sure hadn't forgotten her "religious training" (although that did not come up yesterday with us in any way that I could understand).  She asked/talked about her parents a couple of times and I told her "they were gone".  Marjorie also remembered working for "Auntie Eva" and others (this came up when talking to some of the staff).

 

We must have hung around for up to an hour...she would "cruise off", I'd bring her back and we'd "talk".  A couple of times she made complete sense...I mentioned that I was in communication with you and she said "he's a good boy".  I also mentioned being in touch with Janet and Lester and she said "they lost their son...just terrible". But then she would go off muttering something totally incoherent to us.

 

What else is there to say...Sally and I left simply saying to each other, please don't let that happen to us.  (Of course, how does one prevent that?!).

 

Anyway, wanted you to know.  You, Allen and all involved have our sympathy.  And we feel so sorry for your mom.

 

Jerry